Josh, Lindsay, and Mackenzie

Since it's Friday and I don't want to work anymore, I thought I would take this opportunity to list for you the restaurants I have on my black list. What is a black list you ask? I'm glad you ask. The Black List is the list of restaurants where I refuse to go to by choice. The only exceptions: 1) remote locations where local restaurants appear to be a bit "shady", or 2) the mass group with whom I am "hanging out" overrides my opinion (this doesn't happen frequently thank goodness). Before I share the list with you, I should preface with my tiered system of classifying restaurants. All restaurants fall into one of the five tiers:

Tier I - These are your fast food and breakfast joints, though I also include a few "cafeterias" in this category. This is the bottom of the barrel and I generally do not partake in this type of fare unless one of the two above stipulations exist. Examples include: Long John Silvers, Sonic, Burger King, Luby's, Black Eyed Pea, McDonald's, etc.

Tier II - These are the restaurants that all seem to share the same menu, and usually include 75% or more fried foods. Examples include: TGI Fridays, Applebees, Chilis, Bennagins, Cheddar's, etc. Truly, I think you could switch their menus and never know.

Tier III - These are the next step up, though all are usually within the same general price range. Examples include: Macaroni Grill, The Olive Garden, Johnny Carino's, Cantina Laredo, Outback Steakhouse, etc.

Tier IV - This is where you start to get a bit pricey. These are the restaurants that you could consider when you have a celebration (but not necessarily your anniversary which might be more Tier V). Examples include: Landry's, Saltgrass Steakhouse, Trulucks, etc.

Tier V - These are all the pricey restaurants that you think should be in this tier. You probably only go to one of these once or twice a year unless you have a lot of things to celebrate that are once-in-a-lifetime kinds of things (weddings, anniversaries, graduations, etc.). Examples abound: The Melting Pot, Paul's Porterhouse, Three Forks, etc.

Now, for the list:
- All Tier I restaurants - All that food is gross. I don't even think I've ENTERED a McDonald's for ten years and I know I haven't eaten at one in that long. I will concede, however, that the Sonic Cherry Limeades will keep me coming back for years to come...but only for refreshing beverages. Also, please keep your suggestions to go to IHOP and Denny's to yourself. Those restaurants make me hesitate to sit or put my arms on the table for fear of catching a disease. They are just downright dirty and I don't trust their food.
- Anything with fried chicken as the main item sold: KFC, Church's, Chicken Express, Popeye's, etc. Chicken was never meant to be battered and deep fried, and I won't argue this point with you. If you want your fried chicken, go get some; just don't expect me to join you in this quest.
- Long John Silvers - I know this is covered in Tier I, but it deserves it's own mention. I'm not convinced they serve real fish...
- Panchos - I don't care who you are, when you can get 20 tacos for a dollar (slight hyperbole, but not by much), you need to be wary. That can't be all beef in those tacos to be certain. Also, your potential to lose a hubcap increases exponentially upon entry to the restaurant.
- Don Pablo's - This is probably a Tier II restaurant. The food is mediocre and I've never had a good server there. Hence, I shan't return.
- Quiznos - No thank you. I know they were the first to market the "hot" sandwich, but I dont' LIKE hot sandwiches (unless you are Schlotzsky's, in which case bring on the goodness). On top of that, I have an aversion to hard bread and toasted bread obviously fits in with that category. And the kicker is that if you go there and don't want your sandwich toasted they will give you funny looks every time. I don't need your judgment, I need your soft bread and meats!

So, clearly I like the upper tiers (III-V) the best. One Tier II restaurant I will go to is On the Border, but that is because Josh is addicted to their tortillas and so we must frequent it every now and then. However, if Courtney isn't working that day we will not go - the rest of the service is horrible.

Hope you enjoyed this review. If you have a restaurant for which you would like me to provide a review, please submit all ideas to lindsay@obeyscooplaws.com :)