Josh, Lindsay, and Mackenzie

We have had a few requests to follow-up the "Lindsay Quirks" blog with a "Josh's Quirks" blog. In response to the inquiries as to what Josh's quirks are, I am going to list a few that come to mind readily. Once again, I will avoid specific food preferences as the list would be too long. Not sure these are quite as neurotic as mine, but here goes:

1. Tongue in cheek. When Josh plays X-Box, he sticks his tongue out of the side of his mouth. This happens most often when he's trying to do some crazy maneuver or kill someone in a very elaborate way. I'm sure he can't control this, but it looks hilarious.

2. Squares of bread. When Josh makes garlic bread, toast, or anything using bread as a supplement to a meal, he cuts the bread into four squares and then piles food on top of them using his fork. The amount of food he gets on each little square is both amazing and disheartening (at the sheer amount of food he puts into each bite). It usually makes me full to watch this process. He somehow magically gets an entire plate full of spaghetti on two pieces of white bread...quite amazing.

3. Door locks. Whenever we are going anywhere Josh does a full account of the doors, locks, and the stove. Now, you are all probably saying this is normal before a trip, or that it's a healthy habit. But when your wife has already done it, and you can't control the urge, that is when it goes beyond normal.

4. Z, Z, Z. Anything related to the Z counts as a quirk. Whether it be parking 5 miles away from the store so we're near no other cars, washing off bird poop the instant he gets home, keeping a microfiber towel in the car to keep dust off, well...you get the picture. This man has to do a walk around inspection of his car when he gets to work and leaves work, because he can always tell me if someone scratched anything...including the tires. I'm pretty sure he knows if someone looks at it in a not-so-nice way.

5. Sweets. Josh requires something sweet to eat before bed. His sweet tooth is insatiable. Cookies, cake, pudding, you name it.

6. Food snob. Josh is a food snob in general. He wants name brands, he wants things with fat in them, and he wants them to be fresh. Deli meats and cheeses only for his sandwiches; he'll have none of those pre-packaged substitutes. If you buy him fat-free sour cream, please note that it will never be opened and you should just go ahead and put it in the trash and save your fridge the angst.

7. Golf magazines. He has to have them and he has to have them in bulk. He must stack them on his counter in the kitchen and in the bathroom. He has to read them multiple times. If you do anything to disrupt this process, you will hear about it.

8. Shirt tuck. Josh is a tucked-in shirt kind of guy. I have never met a guy that tucks his shirt into shorts and wears a belt at all times. It's incredible. Half the men I know only wear belts to work, but you can find Josh sporting one with every outfit unless he's working out.

9. Air travel. Josh MUST be at the airport an hour and a half to two hours early for every flight. It does not matter how fast the security lines are at DFW. It does not matter where you are flying (unless of course you're leaving the country and then you have to be there three hours early). He will not, however, pack until the night before the trip. It has to be a paradox of sorts, but I haven't figured out how to prove it.

10. TV Deafness. When Josh is watching t.v. or a movie, he is absolutely deaf. I could tell him his feet are on fire and he wouldn't hear me at all. If it's a good day, you might get a "huh?" out of him, but it's highly unlikely. If you plan to speak to him while he's watching t.v., be prepared for the lack of response or interest. He'll usually perk up if you repeat it once or twice, so as long as your impatience doesn't outlast your willingness to repeat, you'll be fine.

I can only think of ten right now, but I'm sure Josh will have his own list to compile so I will let him finish the list.