Josh, Lindsay, and Mackenzie

Do you remember the days of yore when you would look forward to opening your fortune cookie and see what the future held for you? I didn't eat Chinese food growing up, so we didn't really ever get to enjoy these morsels of greatness. My early exposure to the cookies were in movies and television. In high school and college, they became more prevalent in my life. Many a fortune did Heather and I have posted in our dorm room. We'd sit up at night just waiting for the glorious things to happen (well, not really, but it adds a nice picturesque touch to the story).

Well, throw those memories away. Times have changed my friends, and this time it has gone too far. When did our laziness as a culture expand into the fortune cookie market? Who is too lazy to come up with decent futures for people? Now we get statements. STATEMENTS! When I am seeking respite from the daily grind, and pull up a chair at the local Pei Wei, I am not looking for, "Be Patient" or, "You are a kind person." No, I am looking for, "Be patient, great things are to happen to you" or, "You will inherit a great fortune." I don't want statements...the fortunes were already too generic, but this has got to stop.

I think it is time we stand up and demand we get our fortunes back. Either that, or we change the name to Statement Cookies so it's at least an accurate term for what we are holding in our precious little hands after each Chinese dish. Is it too late for this to be added as a proposition on next week's ballot?